... Turning point........ !!!

         One person is always very important in my life, she is my Mom. She always pushed me when I stopped to anywhere. Only two persons can change my mood one is my mom and second is my "Madness".
        Yesterday was Sunday and I was watching movie songs. Nobody was there in home besides me and my dad. All were gone for shopping and I was free to watch my favorite program.
        After sometime my mom came from shopping. She looks some angry and disappointed. When I asked her, she direct me to another room and locked the door. I understood, something has happened as per her behavior.
       "What happened to you? Will you stop all this?" She asked me with big eyes.
       " What, mom?" I asked with slight fear.
       " You are playing music everywhere so loudly, in college too. Is it true?" she asked again.
       " What's wrong in listening music?" I asked against her question.
       " listening music in midnight till 2 o'clock is wrong, What's wrong with you? This is not you. Because you felt always disturbed while working and driving if anybody play music. What happened? Do you know yesterday our neighbor asked me about it. Our family has its own prestige in society and you are spoiling that. " She told me.
  " Mom, come to the point please, you know I don't like this indirect talks." I replied
  " Since last 3 - 4 months your behavior has changed. You are not eating well, sleeping well. you have left your lunch, sleeping very late and waked up earlier. Your client met me in market, he told me that you have refused his work and showed him another link. Have you become mad? people find work like hunter dogs and you are refusing work? why? What happened with you can you tell me that? I had knew it from your friends but want to listen from your mouth." she told me clearly.
   I had seen down and told her all the matter happened at new work place.How I met her and all was done with my friends. I told all the matter about Jyoti too.
   " Do you know? since last 4 months you have done nothing for your business. How will any lady will accept that man whose occupation is nothing? Sudden if she will accept your proposal and ask to arrange her tickets and all, what will you do?" she has created a scene.
    " She will never say a single word to me, as I am talking with her in air. She will not accept me in this life." I replied.
   "Then what? The world has not finished. There are so many who will come in your life. May be she will back. But what will you present your self to her? as a majnoo or ranjha or romeo ............ or like any good personality as gentle man?" she asked.
   " Your sister has seen her and met her while studying. She is so hard working and sincere lady as you was before some months. Why are you behaving like this? Life is not finished. Ladies always like man who is stable and can take care of her. Love is important but money and status are too important to have a this kind of lady" she said
   " I have married with her by mind, I believe she is my wife" I told with very much fear.
   "Marriage, do you know the meaning? if both are agree for any relationship and accepted by the society, that is marriage." she explained.
   "I will not marry with any other then her. If you will force me, I will suicide I promise you that." I replied.
   " What are you doing right now? Killing your self and all of us. You are murdering your mother and father too" she told. I was vibrated from inside. But she understood all that and became little polite.
   " Tell me mom, what can I do? She is everywhere, wherever I see. Whenever the wind come to me I felt her smell. I could not balance my self while meditating. I can't read my books. I can't concentrate on my work. tell me what to do? she has become everything for me." I said to her.
    "Is she here?"she asked
   "No" I replied
   "With whom you are connected your self ? Is there any commitment or promise done by her? Does she love you? Do you know her family and their living style? what is her diet? What she likes to do? for any relationship it is very necessary to know these." She explained.
  " But....." I was tried to explain her but she stopped me and started again.
  " Just leave all this and come back in practical life. I have also heard something regarding writing on internet, from your friends. You want to suicide after your sisters' marriages. You have chosen some chemical which kills human in few seconds. Can you give me that chemical?" she ordered me with confident and I became too nervous after listened it.
        Because so many of my friends have my land line number so I could not guessed who had done that. I cursed that person who had done that. Before I could say anything, she started again.
       " Have you completed your living and fulfill all your desires?" she asked me.
       " I felt so. Because no any aim is to be achieved now and no any desire to complete." I was too frutrated.
       "Then fulfill my desires and achieve my goals which I am going to give you. ok?" She said with strong voice.
       " What else mom ? there is no love, everything is finished." I replied with sad.
        "Don't talk like timid. I have never taught you this lesson for living. You are too, not that. Remember that time when you was not sleeping till 3 o'clock for your study and work, remembered! you always dance and play casio (elec. keybord). You was living like king and achieving all your goal one by one. And suddenly you have stopped.Why? I am going to give you some tasks, which should be completed as soon as possible. Because I am 59 now and feeling some weakness." there is some request in her voice.
      I could not remember all of our discuss but writing here just for those who had complained to my mom.
      " First is, listen your mind and plan your next life, even each move for your future. Sink your self in your work and work like machine. Don't think for anybody, not for me too.Buy Three diamond necklaces for my daughters. Find marriage proposals for them who have good family and occupation. Buy a new Bungalow for me as I don't like this row house and our new flat too. Buy that long car which you had showed me around Big Bazaar mall. I don't know its name ... mer..ce.." she could not completed the name.
"It was Mercedes mom" I completed with little smile.
     "Complete these tasks, then...... I would like to meet your wife..! I will be ok with Honda City too.....So don't feel over burden" she made her eyes bigger.
      I was too frustrated and nervous that could not think what to tell her.
     "She looks very nice as your sister told me. She has really quality and deserve any prince in her life. And you are not any prince.But have quality to be that .... in your life, ok? Don't try to fly because your wings are too weak. Complete all the work and then tell me, I will allow you for love and all this kind of activities. Because you are 30+ man, not a little baby who need few milk to satisfy your hunger. You can't live without facilities, you know that. Without A.C. and smooth mattress You can't sleep. You need vehicle to go to so near place as you don't like to walk. You like to donate beggars. You like travel to cool places. You want to go on world tour. Our electricity bill comes always over 7000/- , our diesel bill always above 5000/-, our car installment is around 6500/- for release the flat from builders 14 more to pay etc." She gave me our financial statement.
     I felt all the tensions as before few months ago. I felt very shame as I had forgot all that.
     My mom is a very strong lady in our family and relatives. She does not like religious fasting, heavy mantras and worships, mala, japs etc. She believes God is in us and not need any pandit as mediator between us. She is very fashionable lady more than my sisters. She always buy new variety of sarees for her and always tell me to be uptodate well dressed. She always stop me to wear formal and simple dresses too. But allowed me to live as I want. She is not so much learned but has unique attitude. She ever called Orthodox to the people follow blind trust on deities .She taught me to have attitude but not any proud. Behave calm with good people.
    "I like that you loved somebody, but it is not important to bring her forcefully in your life. Each girl has her own wills and visions. Don't force her to love you. Otherwise lady can punish you very badly. She can destroy your existence too. You have done your work and told your desires to her by writing all on internet. Now leave it on her to come in or go out. Let her decide what to do? " my mom has attacked on my mind and washing it.
    "As talking with your sister, she must be strong person but I don't want to see her photo. Because if I would like her, I could not stop you for any activity of love. Keep her love and memory in your heart. As per your situation I can imagine where you have set her. But you have to listen your mind. Because you are that student who have never repeat 1, 2, 3.... in his slate, which was amazed by your teacher. You still remember your lessons which learned from 1st standard. There is no need to teach you anything as you just watch and do. Your mind is your biggest weapon to win anything. You are not king of our home. Stand up and achieve all those things for me. Live your life happily, if that girl will know that you are doing all this, what will she feel? She become sad and thought that somebody is spoiling his life just for her. Every lady has soft heart and emotions, don't play with all of us.God bless that girl who have made you this kind of polite who is listening  me still very calmly. Otherwise you and listen my lecture..... never! We are all with you, try to stand up again and stop fasting. Even God will be unhappy. Don't cry in the darkness on terrace. Try to read your book so many times. Write your lessons of studies (I forgot the specific words in English).
   If you love her by true heart, she will meet you again forever. But left all on your destiny. concentrate to achieve my things. ok?" She has given me long speech and I have remembered her each word for lifetime.
     I was too wrong about life my mom cleared all my questions and guide me to leave all situation on destiny. She realized me my situation and given solution for all problem. I felt really happy and promise her to go back on work. She permit me to see her for 5 minutes and walk alone on my terrace in night for and hour daily. She fixed my situation and all problems.
     I love may madness very much. I have no words for describe it. But I have to accept that she is an individual who has great personality and unique thoughts too. I have to leave all the probabilities on destiny. But I will never leave to love her. She will be ever with me in Alphabets (A,B,C,....H,..) if she will count her name's words and mine will be there in count table too(1,2,3...) Anybody who will talk about him/her self it will use the word I......... and anybody who will try to state owner ship will use Have ....... So in daily language we will be live to gather. May be I am nothing for her but She is my life partner and always with me. Her picture is set in my subconscious mind and never been erased, if she will be fat or old etc. Her big eyes will ever inspire me to love her. May be she will meet me or not but she will ever found in my heart.
   After few days I will leave the (historical) place forever where we met first. I will ever remember this place where my Empress...my Love.... my Madness was laughed, danced, studied etc. I will never forget those Golden moments which spent with her. My love is not so selfish that call her back in this town, because I have seen my angel flying in her heaven. I have unlimited love in my heart for her, But this is the Turning point of my life, the new birth to achieve new goals of life. I can say her "I LOVE YOU more than seven seas, if you will ever need love in your life come to me. When you feel tired from your traveling come to me for refreshment. I will try to make happy for lifetime, because for happiness I will do anything whatever in my eligibility. I promise you to love you lifetime same as today."  
     Today is Janmashtami Lord Krishna's birthday and mine too. Because everything is new with new desires and goals. I have become more optimistic.May be this turning point brings near to my love or more far from her.
      Let's celebrate ......... Happy Janmashtami.......!!!