........about you....!!!

         Life is full of happiness, sadness, love, betrayal, loyal people, cheaters, lovers, friends, enemies, generals, specials etc. I was thinking today, what is going on to me now a days? why I am imbalanced now a days? Actually, I am very enthusiastic to complete my first project which is fully designed and rendered at my lab. I am very near to complete and handover the project soon. My days go with my work and willing to finish it near about. It is cold winter here and cold nights make me more crazy about my 'love'.  It was the wonderful news which has opened new ways of success for me. I have got very important information about new parts of computer which can give me the near about result of costly computers. It is the time for which I have ever waited for. Now I can see few dreams of small successful achievements.
        Days are going with working hard and with nice small good news and nights are going with the lovely memories of my lovely and cute lady 'Madness'. She is always with me everywhere. Her talks and her eyes I can not forget forever. What is she doing? what is she eating? what is her thinking abut her future life? where will she would pass her next life? what is her plan for India? will she come back or live there forever? this kind of thoughts were annoying me, but now I am stable by leaving all to God and destiny.I have trust in God, but I am not orthodox. If believe in God is orthodoxness then I am the biggest orthodox person on the earth. Orthodoxness is just the feelings which makes you inactive and leading you only to the activities which have no meanings. I have trust in God, but working is my nature and thinking about future is freetime's activity. I am quite greedy for perfection of work. I can tolerate delayed work, but can't tolerate non-accurate work. Presentation is the most important part of my project works, if it is web designing or 3D project. I am little perfection hungry man. I don't care about my look, but always worry about perfection of my work regarding any type of project. Money is also important for life, because we need money every time and everywhere. But, money is not more than humanity. If humanity needs my money, I will give it for that work. I don't believe in charity or donation, but believe in helping to others. This is just my thinking, because I have seen so many scandals regarding humanity related trusts and their trustees. Colleges and schools are become business where the knowledge is selling by them. They don't care what are the students studying. They are always interested in student fees and donation income from the wealthy people. I am sorry, my money is not for your personal use. Better than giving to them, I would like to use it behind wine and gambling. How to help humans is depend on me and not to be forced by anybody, not even by my lady "Madness".
         I am human and become loyal lover. Maybe one day my lady "Madness" will understand and take my hand in her hand. Till that time I have to work and earn money for prosperous life. I am doing my best to complete my work on time, but I am not getting good result of my work. I am very upset for my work. But, only one smile of my darling lady "Madness" gives me too much warmth in this cold nights and nervous moments. I remember her smiling face behalf of God in my bad time. Really I am orthodox and it is boon for me and not curse. Because loving her is continue with each breath. Love has shown me new criteria of living the life and working abilities. Now, life is not limited in few area, but has become unlimited region to live. Glory of her charm has taught me the new definition of smile and laugh. We have a wonderful understanding of reading gestures done by each other. But, I am not so intelligent like her who can't show her proper gesture for my words to her and can't  or late understand her meanings sometimes. She is so wonderful and naughty, so always makes some comments which have dual meanings. I feel confuse while trying to know what she wants to tell me.
         Life is full of different colors and fragrances. Each color has its own beauty and meanings. Each fragrance have its own craziness and joy. There are so many flowers like, Rose, Marigold, jasmine etc. in the garden of nature.But we always like to have Dark pink Roses for our joy. Same like that, we have lot of relations and friends, but we like to have love in our life. We like to have that person at the cost of our life. I am one of them who desires for his love in his life and want to have her for lifetime. I have not reached at the destination where life ends, but reached to that place where I have met my life. I have no doubt regarding her feelings for me, but want to tell her,
        My love........My Empress.......My "Madness".....you are so special for me. I am so nervous while thinking about that moment when we will meet. I want to confess that I have communication phobia and will not tell you any word at that time. If you can remember that how much oral words was there in our conversations when we have met? You have to understand my feelings anyhow, otherwise I will not express my love properly to you. I can give a lecture on love but can't express my love orally to you. Let the time come, the time of our meeting......the time of being one behalf of two........the time of making pair.......the time of kissing heaven.........the time of wonderful hug ......the time of sharing warmth........let's meet anywhere. Please continue our undescribable and wonderful ......relationship......I am crazy.........about you....!!!