........ I am still living in you......!!!

         My days are burning in the Sunshine as the summer has started. Suddenly you have also stopped wording. It was the big day for us, but you have not respond a while. I don't know what happened suddenly with you. Last two days  were gone in the rush for the registration of saledeed of our new flat. The another thing was, I have bought a new graphics card for high resolution rendering  which is not matching with current operating system. So last two days was gone behind those noisy days. I became more broken and frustrated when you had not respond our meeting anniversary's celebration posts. I don't know which matter has turned your head suddenly from me to anywhere else. You are so naive and anybody can change your thoughts by playing any kind of drama. I don't know this time what matter has changed your mind. I think you have to think about your own heart and mind, if you can't then ask your parents rather than your friends. I know you are so intelligent, but you are so naive by heart. Please think what do you want to know about me more? if you will say, I will open all my private matters here in public. Don't wish to make my desires and life's exhibition. I know you want to do everything openly, but some deeds are private and can talk privately. I have no any past and don't try to join my life with characters created by me here. Don't call me liar, as I have told you so many times to not make doubt on me. I am innocent everywhere in my life. I had never got time to think about my personal life. My whole life is dedicated to my parents and sisters. Please try to understand, I have tried to talk with you so many times, but you have ever neglected me. I am  not a cheater and can't cheat anybody in this world. I have told you all my truth, but may be you have lot of doubts about me and never been cleared without personal talks. Whatever you think that is your choice, but from my side I have ever told you all truth. Though I know your so many friends are reading my personal matters here. I don't care about anybody who doesn't belongs to me. Please clear your mind for me, I am not hiding anything from you and your beloved friends. So many persons are interesting in breaking our relationship and with your silence you are supporting them.
        Anyways, you are mature and knows what you have to do. I will not force you to love me and marry me, because I am genuine person  and whatever I felt I have told you. May be you don't like to see the things from other people's eyes besides yours. I  want to tell you that my love for you is genuine and when you will realized again and you will feel regret for your thoughts. Because I have started to donate my things to the needy people. Today I have started it by donate my blood to the blood bank. I will do my work and ever feel miserable by thinking about my love for you. I am broken now and can't explain you more regarding my innocent love for you. I have no much money to reach you and explain you, but trying to tell you my love is true for you. If you want to be silent for whole life with me, you can because how many days I will try to convince you? May be somebody has got success to sweep me and my love from your heart. I know you will be very much disappointed by reading this post, but I will tell you the truth and the truth is you have never care for our love and ever seen me with doubts. Now you are going to make me fool of the 1st April. And I will become fool just for your happiness and the feelings of winner. I will make you winner by killing myself because I love you and can't see you disappointed by defeat. I will love you forever and write here about my feelings for you. I am still positively thinking about you. May be you are so busy with your thesis work and final submissions. May be you are thinking advance about our future which I can't see or think. But how much I can guess in this silence of you? You have given a wonderful gift on our meeting anniversary and maybe  you will give me bigger gift on my birthday 5th, May. Today I feel really very lonely.
         I want to ask you one thing and please answer me by any kind of way. What happened suddenly to you? why you have suddenly ruined my love life? If you was not interested in my love then why have you pretends like you loves me by your behaviors? Do you still love me?..........I know you will not give me the answers and your silence will make me more nervous and broken day by day. It may be very easy to have relation with any other person around you, but it is not possible for thinking about any other lady besides you. I don't know what will you answer to me.......may be you will not answer........and ignore my questions.
        There is no any lady was there in my life and also any body will take your place in my life. Because I love you. And I have given you my heart. I don't know about you because you have ever made mysterious behavior with me. I have trust on your loyalty, but you have no trust in mine. My life is fully devoted to you, but may be you have never valued it. May be you will forget me in the glitter of the Chicago. But no any light will ever erase your image from my eyes.
        In my whole life I have never felt the beautiful feelings like this time since my birth. I have felt so much happy from inner side of my heart when you had published the photo with coffee cup. So much love is there in your heart which could be read by your eyes. Your lovely eyes had made me to believe in your love and started watching dreams for our lovely future in India. I have never thought to be settled in foreign country, because it is out of my reach and I can't live in fairytale. I will buy new high resolution machines from my savings which I have saved for my own marriage. That money is useless for me as you are going from me to another person or may gone in other person's arms forever. I will never forget you and ever write few lines of love for you. Hey.......why am I telling you all this? do you know? because I have still hopes in my heart that you loves me. Still I can feel that your heart is beating for me only. But what is truth? you and that disappeared God knows.
         My Love.......My Empress.......my "Madness".........if you love somebody ....tell him what do you want from him? what do you need from him? what is he doing wrong? talk directly and not by gestures. May be you are not loving me or may  be you loves me more than I love you......... whatever in your heart..........you have to tell me..........I love you.......and I will love you till my death..........please break your silence.......if you still loves me...... You are my everything......please don't ruin my love and heart......I am still desperate for you.......I am still adore you........ I am still worship you......... I am still living in you......!!!