.......I am thirsty......!!!

       

        Last 48 hours was really terribly for me. Because I was on tour with my Class yesterday and returned in midnight around 1:30 in the night. From earlier of the day, I was in social functions and meetings with old peoples for my sisters' marriage proposals. I don't need to find any proposal for me, because I have mentally accepted you as my wife and doesn't need to see another woman. It was the tour started on 3:40 early in the morning and ended at 1:30 in the midnight. I had so many hopes from this tour of Saputara, but finally ended with big shocks and major upset when I knew that the paragliding has not started and it is on the trial based only. It is still not opened for general people.
       It was the tour with teenager kids. I had only few friends with whom I was feeling free talk, but I was trying to be opened to all the co-travelers. It was the hot and burning environment there and I got the big shock when knew the truth when I reached there. But tried to enjoy the whole day with my friends. As you know I was feeling you at everywhere while feeling good with slight cold air. I had lost my temper when we had climbed up on one hill and found the road was ending at the middle of the hill. It was too narrow path and from between bad plants. Afterall we had come down and felt the relief of breaths. In the evening we were at Sunset point, at the top of the tallest hill and watched the Sunset. I was on the top of the hill and I was tired and lonely in crowd. I was watching the Sunset and thought that we all will reached to our heights of the hill of our lives and at that point we will be tired and lonely while watching the Sunset of our lives. It was the feelings which I could not revealed from myself. But I have found the unidentified thirst in me. I have tried to reveal it, but found a new enthusiasm to have you in my life. I was feeling the height is too lower, I want to reach to that height from there I can see you each of the smallest part of the moment. I feel that feelings first time.......Ish....I have no words to describe those feelings here, but maybe you have understood it from my few words. I had lost myself and watching the valley and the orange color of the it. We came down and the day was ended with silence. All was looking quite tired and hungry, I was too feeling that. But one of my friend got gestro and started vomiting, so I was become busy in taking care of him. I could not eat well, though I was too much hungry. I had to take him to the bus as soon as possible and my other friends had help him as they felt that he needs to be in bus. We left the place and started the journey for the back to pavilion.
       There was earphone in my ears and the song "Broken Angel" was playing again and again. In the morning journey I had listen it continuously in 2 hours. And I was listening it from the Saputara to Athwagate. Sometimes I was also listening "Jiye kyoon" from 'Dum maro dum' movie. I miss you ....darling......very much....!!! I have no words to describe my pain here, but I will try to show you my tears. I am burning from my failures and the bad results of my attempts. I am disappointed by my broken dreams. I am miserable by my life because I have never done anything which is ever admirable. I am feeling really "broken" and tired now. From last 48 hours I am suffering from bad thoughts of losing you. Ish.........my heart is leaving my mind, and my mind is being too much nervous about your behavior with me. On CT's wall you have told that to check your album. Have you given me the rights to see your photos? then why you are massaging salt on my wounds? Darling..........I need your LOVE and your warmth while I am feeling something bad. Thanks for making me relaxed from anxiety of cold weather of your place and your health. If possible try to tell me something by your gestures or write on CT's wall. ......Darling ........tell him the words "CONGRATULATIONS" for his graduation. I appreciate his work and his thoughts for the life. I have seen you again in blue dress with him on his blog. You both are really good friends. I hope I will become your friend better than all of your friends. To be a lover is the most important part of life and become the best friend of your life partner is also a great achievement. I have become your lover, but still I have not become your best friend as you have not entered me in your circle. My Love!!! I will not stretch this matter again and can't make you disappointed by this. It is your wish to have me or not in your life, but it is my deep crave to melt my self in you. Your new hair style is so marvelous. But why you are posting all photos in B/W format. Let it be in its natural colors. You are my Angel and there is no doubt on your loyalty for me. My Love!!! you have become my most desirable destination of my life and what will be next you will decide for me. I have become bitter by nature and by sayings, because of my daily transactions and failures. Sometimes I feel I have to leave my life forever, but your glittering eyes have always made me inspire to live the day. So,watching your innocent face has become my daily morning routine. If by any reason I couldn't see you, my day begins to fall. I feel very bad till your face appears to my eyes. Try to feel me in those lines of the song written below:

I'm so lonely broken angel 

I'm so lonely listen to my heart 

On n' lonely, broken angel 

COME N' SAVE ME BEFORE I FALL....... APART.....

         Remember me! if you can remember my words. Each day and each moment is breaking me by the crave of your LOVE. I need just your love and nothing more for this life. I need you and your hand while walking on the road of life. My current position is, I am running in the darkness of life and you are appearing to me as mirage in desert. Please be stable for me, I don't want to die with this thirst. But there are so many thoughts has made my mind with complexity. I have no more capabilities to come out from this lust of love and  I don't wish to be come out from it too.

      My Love..........My Heart.........My Empress..........My "Madness"........there are billions of  reason to love you and admire your each movements with style, but there is no any reason to admire me or love me. Have you ever seen any reason to love me? If you have seen please tell me.......I will love myself for that. I love you........darling ......by bottom of my heart and can't live without you ......and also can't leave you........ accept me if you can! before the end of my youth and end of my life....... I have ever become nervous while watching my ugly and thick face........ but become happy when see your lovely smile...... you are my life and you are the motive of living........just accept me ......... and my love........I promise you, I will never hurt you........kissing your forehead and on your hand........I am on my band knees and telling you........ I love you from the bottom of my heart..........please love me ......... give me just a drop of ........your love.......I am thirsty......!!!