........I desperate for your words........!!!

         The day was full of running and hot temperature environment. I started my day with my routine works and computer works. I wrote a few lines here and gone to my work. I was not willing to cry or being sad on any moment or anything else as the days are going well with your love and messages. I don't know why ? but today I was feeling very bad from inside and felt some anxiety in my heart. You are loving me and what I need more from the life? But I don't know why? but felt very bad while dealing with clients. I started to stop talking with them and came out from there. I could not understood the feelings coming out from my heart. I was feeling like somebody is making plan to erase me from your heart. I felt some unsecured and missed you. I had tried to make myself refresh, but couldn't got success in that. Suddenly, my friend has called me and I started scooter to meet him. I was feeling very different, but not good feelings. I was thinking that may be it was the failure of graphics card installation in PC or I might be worry from inside for making big bad expense on the electronics item. I had no space where I can close my eyes and see you, I was feeling more and more annoyed by those thoughts. 

        I know you loves me and also wants to meet me again forever. And you know what I want from you and the world. I have ever think about you and our love life. I have never changed my mind and don't want to do that about you and our future life. If I will get big success in my career, It will not the matter to leave you. I can't see myself alive without you. Thinking about you is my life and can see only you in the crowd of billions of the people. I need your hand in my hand to walk on the path of life.I need your love to live the life easily. I have never felt feelings like this in my whole life. You are my first and last LOVE of the life. Please, believe me I have never touched any other woman in sexual manner. Now a days, if by mistake I see any woman's face more than few seconds, I feel guilty. You can say I feel guilty to see any lady who looks at me. I really feel that I will never erase the doubts of your mind. I don't know what do you think if I will talk with any of your friend after being one with you. I can't read your mind, but can read your eyes. I know you want to be a famous person on this earth. The lust of being popular person is flamed in you and do not let you think about your personal life or future family life. I think you want to change your profession too. May be you want to be photographer or try your luck in the world of Modeling as per your behavior I can guess. If you are thinking about being photographer, it is very good profession. But, if you are thinking to enter into the world of glamor, I would like to warn you from the hazards. May be you have not seen the movie "Fashion". The movie was based on the darkness behind the glamorous lights of the glamor world. I felt happy when you've decided to be an author of the architectures. I thought you may be a good writer and will get the best seller award from foreign countries. Really, you have the ability to be a good writer. Don't try to jump in the dark deep of the glamor world. Before taking any decision, watch the biography of models and actresses who are from India and trying to get roles in the movies. On the unknown land, it will be hazardous decision to join that kind of field of working. Any ways that is your decision and I will happy with all your decisions. But, it will keep you so far from my love. That means you will not love me anymore.....!!!....that means your mind has won over your heart......???

        This kind of thoughts were running in my mind when I had seen the photo of Cindy Crawford as cover page of an old magazine. I met my friend and started talking with him regarding business and the studies. But, I was not talking by heart with him so he smiled and asked me about tea. One thing I have done without your permission and felt very guilty for that today. From last two days, I was smoking cigarettes and not ask you for permission. I had ignited cigarette and started talking with him. He knows I like to hear music too much now a days. He asked me about my likes and I told him for the song "Guzarish'" from the movie "Gajini". I plugged ear phones in my ears and started enjoy the song. I was having tea and cigarette both. Suddenly, the song changed and the next song has awakened my heart. That was the song "kaise muje tum mil gayi"......I closed my eyes and the tears came out from my eyes. I thrown the cigarette and felt very sad by feeling myself guilty. I have no rights to ruin my body without your permission. Today, I have to confess that I have smoke cigarettes without inform you. I am sorry......please forgive me for that.......I will not do it again.....!!!

         My Love........My Empress........My "Madness"...... that song has a different tone of touching our hearts, if you get time please listen it once. I think you have heard it before, as I had posted on my wall. Today listen it again. Really, the love is the amazing feelings, which binds two heart forever. We are so lucky to having love for each other. It doesn't matter, you have still not explained me the meaning of that picture. You are the ruler of the planet of our love. May be you are planning something or busy with studies. I am just loving you and will love you till my last breath. You are my destiny, you are my destination and the further way of my lifepath. Please carry on loving me and love me till my death. I will never let you complain for lack of love in your life. Let me love you from bottom of my heart and fill your heart by my love. You have stopped again your words. Please break this silence. I need to hear you. I know you loves me, but daily updates are necessary. Please say something......please bring me out of this silence.......this silence annoying me.......please tell me something sweet words.....my eyes are reading the non updated screens......I need your texts.........I desperate for your words........!!!