The monsoon has come and spread everywhere water and cool air in whole city. I remember that whenever I became wet in rain I always enjoy some hot snacks and tea or coffee. The fragrance of the soil comes so different which makes environment most pleasant before monsoon starts. In this season I always dream for my future and happy life. I have family of six members, three sisters, me and our parents. We have also pets in our home. My family always wants a home with nice space. So we have bought row house with parking. As my sister was studying architectures, my home was her first project in her professional life. I have seen so many companies’ jobs and wanted to set myself to another city then home town. But whenever I looked at my parents and sisters, I could not attempt to leave them alone on their own situation. I thought, if I will leave them who will take care of them?
Once I had got offer from Germany of Java developer as I passed the interview. But I had never thought that kind of offer I would get. So I had not applied for passport. That time passports issued by Gandhinagar office. At least six months need for that procedure. To visit foreign countries was not so easy. So, I could not get the job. I had started business of computer assembling with my friend. As we both have completed our computer hardware course, we had seen a dream of big computer seller in our state. But whenever I settled myself, destiny made something wrong. My partner and dearest friend died in bike accident. It was very difficult to run the business by one hand. My father was railway officer so he always got transfers. My mother always gone with him and some days reside with us. So I learned cooking food. In some days I was become nice cook of Gujarati and Punjabi food. Whenever I am in good mood, I make different dishes of my choice.
I have always like to show the reality, but when starts my business I learned that people like artificial things not the real or natural. I like to be alone whenever I am free from my work. I like mountains, ponds, rivers, greenery etc natural sources. In our country, I liked Jammu and surrounded area, Ooty, Kodaikenal etc. which I have visited in this life. I like beaches too.
By nature I am optimistic and always hope for positive results of any upcoming situation. I like to live in facilities and don’t like to visit any place where I assume that will not be available. But also adjust myself very quickly in any environment. I have always communication problem with strangers. I don’t like to drive car because feeling scared for any wrong happenings. But I enjoy it on long drive like, our city to Baroda, Ahmedabad, Silvasa etc. My sister likes to drive in city. We have bought our first car in 2008 the Model – Tata Indica Vista. I know you like other car which was my first choice but due to some features I did not like so I bought this car.
Our business has reached to that place where everybody wants to see their business, when they start. My goal is to create another business of video editing laboratory. I am learning some software for that business.
Before some months when I was not met you I was working like machine with all these things. Love, personal life, personal feelings, these words had no worth for me. I was living black and white life. But when I met you I learned to laugh on tensions. I started to feel you in my lonely moments. It was started so slowly that I did not know when it started and became my passion. I remember small chats with you. I want to confess that I always looked at you from the space between our computers. I have fresh memory of your little dance on the bollywood song “darling … aankhon se aankhen … chaar ……. Karne .. do“.
Please don’t feel fear from me as I will never mention your name in my talk with anybody. The time is near to leave the place when I met you. This place has become historical for my life. I have remembered all small events and moments of your presence. But you have not any of them, even you can’t remember me. So bad for me and my future, too.
I worship God before some months but now I have left all that activities as he has made this bad event in my life. I can’t maintain balance my emotions and feelings. I am trying to survive now days.
But I will never curse you. why should I curse you? this is all the mistake done by the God who have written all in my destiny. I don’t know I have the right to called you “darling” or not. But there is nobody to whom I will use this word. It is so beautiful feelings when I remember you and your naughty acts. There are lots of friends you will get in your life and you don’t need my greetings and good wishes. But I always send you my blessings, best wishes and greetings to you. I was living like machine, after met you I knew how to live and now I will also living like machine again. I will never look at anybody because it is very difficult to erase memories from mind.
I have visited sparkle exhibition of diamond jewelleries in 2008-2009. I liked some diamond necklace there and that time I have decided to give it to my wife as our first marriage anniversary gift. But now I will never buy and gift it to anybody, as I will never marry in this life. I have lost romance from my life forever. Because I have married with you and don’t wish to marry again.
But I want to wish that you will get a nice handsome and rich husband in your life. Who will love you more than his life. Whenever he take breath he remember you and always agree with your thoughts. You always get all you want in your life. You smile, laugh and happiness may be with you for whole life. You may reach to those destinations which are always dream for all. Billions of people may know you by your good name.
You are empress of my dreams but I have never wished to own you, because you are very special in the world, the world needs you kind of people who makes anybody laugh whenever they are sad. I always want to say, you are my madness. Please don’t take this only from me………. Please.
I have no hope to meet you again in this life. But promise me…… Whenever and whatever age of our age we will meet you will never neglect me. Try to remember me or my face. I am going to visit Golden Temple of Amritsar, I will pray there for you and your prosperous life.
My last wish from you is to meet you in this life before death. If you ever read this .... promise me to meet again in this life. I will wait for it till......... death.
I hope you are enjoying the life very well like fairy in heaven.
Thank you …… for reading these stupid written words…. …
God Bless you and fulfill all your wishes……..!!!
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