....better than me...!!!

        

         Finally, I had faced the movie by which I was feeling the fear. I am talking about the movie 'Rockstar'. Once I had come back from the theater, b'coz I was feeling fear that it will make me more miserable and break me in pieces. First, I had shutdown the TV, but after a lot of arguments with my sisters I had restarted my TV. It is about a man called Janardan and renamed as Jordan by his love Heer. Jordan is the boy having dream of being the most popular rockstar and always sing songs in college and on roads. But all the people around him have ever admired him for the payment of their bill by him. He talked with the canteen owner who told him that his music is not melodious because of lack of pain. He must have pain for being a big rockstar. So, Janardan started to think about pain. Finally, he got that he must be rejected by girl after proposing her. He found Heer, an engineering student who was famous as 'heart breaking machine' and proposed her. She felt strange and ridiculous when he proposed her suddenly. After few fighting, she found that Janardan was not bad boy, but he wanted to have pain for creation of melodious music. She started friendship with him and called him in her marriage to Kashmir. Both enjoyed the moments of togetherness in snow of Kashmir. She married with Jay, man from Prague. Jordan returned from Kashmir to his home, but could not understand what was going on in him. His family also throw him out from home. He started to live in temples and dargah. After few days he returned to the canteen owner. Finally he got break for singing. His songs became popular and got big chance to create album. He heard that the company was going to create event in Europe, so he request to the company to get him to Europe. He also become agree for free singing while Europe tour. He went to Prague and met Heer again. Both come very near and finally got a physical relationship. Heer was become patient of Severe Anemia and after meeting Jordan she became alright. Heer felt that she was in wrong relationship, so she refused Jordan to meet again. Her husband knew all the story. Heer returned back to India.  Jordan was gone in Jail for his misbehavior while concert. He released from jail and returned back to India. He knew that Heer was also back from Prague so he met her again. But, this time, she got pregnant by Jordan which was became the reason of her death. Jordan has got the success in his life, but after paid a big cost of his love. He got the situation of burning in love for lifetime.
          I felt hesitate while watching the movie. Because I was feeling the pain of Jordan and his burning too. I have seen that the new generation doesn't like to accept the love. They believe in physical relationships. I know it is necessary, but love is the most important thing in our life. If we have owned our love, we don't need to make doubts on physical relationship. If your love accepts you and your love, she will definitely enjoy your physical relations too. Love is the most important part of everybody's life. Even it is the heart of life. If you have lost your love, you will never feel happiness in your life forever. You can smile and also laugh, but it will be like bubbles of soap. You can't feel the happiness by heart. I was feeling his pain and trying to understand what he wants in his life. He was the charter plane owner, but not happy without his love Heer. I am feeling scare while thinking that what happened when my "Madness" will get final separation from me and marry to another man. I an feeling very nervous and broken while thinking about her. Because she is quite versatile by nature. Her thoughts are very unique and she loves to think in new ways. I am really thinking about my situation when she will meet me. I want her in my life, but not forcefully. I want her love and support till lifetime. I have believed her as my wife and I need her as a wife. I am very serious and cautious about her. I know I am overwhelming for her and desperate to meet her. But, she is so far and busy with her work. She has become international lady and have a lot of work. But personal life is also important for everybody. I am not selfish, but 11 months has gone. I am wriggling to see her again. I cry daily while thinking about her. She is my life and I am living for her. I don't need popularity and money, but I need love. I need satisfied life of normal man. I don't want to be a 'Rockstar'. I want to spend my remaining life in loving my lovely believed wife. Because, life needs to be filled by love and its all colours. We are working for money, but we spend it on our beloved people. If you will stop any man and ask him about his earned money, you will definitely get the answer that he will spend his money for his wife and family.
        Darling......!!!.... I have seen your cover photo very carefully. So, no need to tell me about the specialty of that. I had found that what you want show me. "I" is the best letter in alphabet and it will become "H" if you will rotate it at 90 degree. I have always thought very deeply when you wrote a single word. I am listening your voice, carry on your words. Tomorrow I am going to visit Mumbai and will return on the next day or in the late night. I am trying to share all small things with you, but you have closed all the doors for me. I am going to buy a new phone which has the facility of 'whatsapp' application. But I will buy it after maintenance of PCs. Tomorrow I have to wake up early in the morning and the whole day will be very congested and crowdy. I don't like crowd, you know that. So, I will try to complete all my work ASAP. Tomorrow will be go without watching you, another bad day for me. That is the reason I want a new phone which have Internet and I can see you, before each of my work.
        You are my love and my everything. I need you at each moment of my life. You are always with me virtually, but I need your presence in each of  the moment of my life. I have my home, my little business, my lovely indian cultured family. But you have to compromise with one thing that I am not a gold medalist in any field. I have love and only love in my heart for you. Please make me sure about your love to me. Because my Mom has started asking about your photo. Still, I have not shown her your photo. If you will allow me, I can show your photo to her. You have hide all your photos and only two photos are there in your profile photos. one is with umbrella and another is with ovan. I like your all, but my mom is going to see you first time. I am confused. Think about it tomorrow and tell me which one should be shown to her. If you will say 'no', I will not show her any of them. She wants to see you and she has started telling me before few weeks ago. I love you and feeling you as member of our family. So, I have shared all with you.
       Darling...!!!.....concentrate on your studies and don't try to do some harmful stunts like scatting. I know you like it, but it is also very risky. I have done it while my school life.But it was not on scatebord. I have done it by my shoes. I have forgotten scatting, but I can remember that I have fallen down very badly so many times. Weather of New York is still very cold, so please take care while visiting out. Take care of your self and sleep well on time. I will try to make you aware of here's events.
      Sending you lot of love by air and also lot of kisses you will be received with it. You have to decide, what to do with those kisses and love. You have to mange my kisses, where to have it that is leave on you. on lips, neck, forehead, hand chicks etc. I love you and you know that how much. Missing you by each of breath and each moment of time. You are my Love......My Empress.......My "Madness"......you are my everything. You are the person without you I can't feel alive. whatever you are, but you are an Angel for me.........I am waiting for you ......Your love is my life and the reason of living this life......... please love me by the bottom of your heart..........please.....never leave me.....though you will get a lot of money behalf of me..........just think about our love and our future life.........I will never make you sad........ I will face the sadness before you......... come to my heart and enter in my world as soon as possible..........I love you .......and you know that.....better than  me...!!!