I want to tell you all my heart feelings. I want to be here again same as before, but my phone has not sufficient capacity to write something by it. Anyway, I will write here by any other sources.
Life has its own speed of streaming and it streams fluently. We all have our own streams, but we are all streaming to the on point which is the end of the life.... called Death. The time of streaming is our living duration in which we have to complete all our tasks like, study, traveling different places, marriage, having kids, work hard, earning money, worship to God, Love to life partner, eat different kind of foods etc. We are human and we have one specialty, that is smile and laughing. Only human can smile and laugh no any other animal can do the same. We can express our feelings by our words and face expressions. If we are happy, we smile or laugh and sing songs or saying good words to others. Opposite that, if we are not happy or annoyed, we start crapping or yell loudly on other people or on the God. Humans have the abilities of expressing the heart feelings to others. But, all depends of the nature of each human beings.
All of us has two different part of life. First part is called bachelor life and second part is called married life. Both have their own importance. In bachelor life, we have the most important time is student life. The most funny and enjoying life is school life. Everyday, wear the uniform and go to school with school beg. Some drawing, singing, playing games, punishments, crying, answering in classroom, lunch with friends, talking about TV shows, sharing pen-pencils-erasers etc, enjoying the journey from school to home and home to school with friends etc. I can't describe the joy of school life in my words. Teachers' caring while sick health and asked with sympathy. After Mom, I had got caring teachers in my school life. Can't forget that big play ground and the football playing while raining, teachers hitting and screaming for stop those health hazardous activities. I can remember my PT teacher who have given me dairymilk chocolate when I had completed 50 push-ups constantly. I had enjoyed my school life by doing whatever I liked to do. But, I was never in the list of toppers. I had never care for tomorrows and enjoyed each day, but today I realized that anxiety about tomorrow is necessary in life. It gives power to own your dreams and make your life in the way you have ever seen. I was always excited about movies and the visit of Tithal beach. I have started to see bollywood movies in the second year of the College. Before that I was interested in only Marshall arts and english movies. Whenever my classmates asked me about my favourite actresses or actors, I told them few names like, Nicole Kidman, Sharon Stone, Salma Hyke, Famke Jansen etc. and they have ever looked at me with strange eyes. But, I learned to be mixed with local people and started watching hindi movies. I can remember, my friends were given me title of Lion and started calling me with 'Leo' when experimented new hair style before annual day.
College was ended with my graduation and started to be settled with business and jobs. All my efforts to be settled in Business were collapsed with failures and got small salary scaled jobs in Vapi area. But, I was waiting for my father's retirement at his job. Because we all had decided to set ourselves in Surat at our native place. Finally, we were in our hometown and life began with new environment of our native place. I had the motive to see whole city on the pay by my company. So, I had started Marketing Job as Team Leader. I had seen the city and found the place where, I have to make my home in my family budget. All was done with time and get nice big home. And I had changed my job to Govt. sector on contract basis. But, it was not my destination because I was not satisfied with my earnings. I had tried to get jobs in software companies. Finally, got a nice job on the post which was leaving by one person I used to know him. It was very strange interview and I had passed it with told only three lines. I had started working in that MNC of Philadelphia. My boss was appreciating my programing work and finally he had promoted me as Technical Manager of the Indian branch. All was going very well and the work was always done on time. But, destiny has not accepted my stability there and few events have made me left the job compulsorily. I was deciding to relocate myself to South India, but my post graduation study was going on. My sister has shown me the way of new working field - Architecture. I had learned designing, drafting and 3D modeling with AutoCAD. But, I was interested in 2D Animation with Flash. I was doing all with my abilities and my mind was picking up all the working styles. Working with architectures, I got new enthusiasm of create 3D models and animation. I had explored so many softwares like 3DSmax, Maya, Sketch up, Revit, Cinema 4D, Blender etc. But I have found nothing helpful in learning them. I have started to learn 3DMax by tutorials, but my sister was persistent about proper training for the Software. And she brought me to her known person to introduce me to him. I had joined the class and started dreaming about my own 3D Animation movies.
During that period, I met you at your place. In starting days, I could not realized that What was I feeling about you??? All your talks and other activities were being spread in my world. Finally, you became my everything and I have stopped dreaming about anything else than you. Still, I don't need anything else in life except you. I have told you all about my life and about my likes-dislikes too. I have never tried to impress you by words or with big words.But, I have told you always my truths. Today, I am at my lowest earning level. I have never faced this kind of situation in my Life. But, this is my today only. I am confident about tomorrow, when I will cross all the highest upper line of my earning and may be of the city. I am planning to create big sources of income and the flow of profit by each day. But, my mind and heart are going in opposite directions. My mind wants to be concentrated on working and earnings and my heart is pulling me to the Love. My heart worries about the matter, if you will not with me..... if somebody will grab you from me ... if somebody will impress you by his body looks ....etc... !!! ...But ... somewhere inside me, I am sure that you loves me. But, my heart feels scare to loss you and make me non-sleepy in nights and worried during the day time.
It was 28 March 2011, When I had seen you first time and it was 1st May, 2011 when I had seen you last time. I had seen the sorrow on your face and in your eyes. It was the last day, when I had seen you first time so worried and sad. After one year and nine months, I will see you again and will read your eyes again. In your yesterday's photo, I have seen into your eyes. I can guess one thing after seeing through your eyes that you want something from me more than love in Life. I want to tell you ... darling ...ish.. I have devoted my life to you. I have given you the power to make me or break me. My life starts with you and will end with you only.I have not the second heart which can love somebody else in this Life. I have decided to live the Life with you or will live alone till death. What will be happened after your come back in town ??? only God knows about that. May be you will also try to explain me about our mismatches or will hold my hand with all my reality. I am being ready for all situation of "yes" and "no". If you will say "no", it will become fixed to live my Life alone. If you will say "yes", I will become the most responsible person for your smile and happiness from that moment. Liabilities of making you smile everyday morning and making you calm in nights will be bound with my Life. I have got one achievement in our love life. I can feel your sadness and glad in my heart. If you are worried about something, I don't feel good here. You want to visit Sri Lanka for few days. May be I will also with you there, if you will allow me. Main tension is your adjustments with me and our family. You have lived alone so far from the family life. Your living style and habits are changed. You are in cold environment right now and going to come back again in hot environment. You are going to meet again your thousands of friends who are waiting for you from long time. Few of my circle who were my friends are also waiting to meet you. People, who were trying to impress you by FB wall photos are also waiting for you. Few have bought some special dresses like, white shirts and increased their beard like Johny Depp. Somebody was trying to be Sharukh of DDLJ ... somebody was trying to be Rockstar .. It is Laughing moments right now for me on those people. May God bless all of them because they were all in friends' list. I have never entered in that race, because my aim was not to impress you. Love you by true heart is the aim of my Life. I can't tell you filmy dialogues or can tell you big words like .. bring stars from sky for you .. no!!! I can't bring stars from the sky for you, but I want to share with you, the reasons of stars in my eyes. I don't want to show how much I am burning from inside without you, but want to share with you few remaining days till my death. I am not Rockstar or having get up like Johny Depp or can talk like DDLJ's shahrukh with you, but want meet you as a Harshad Surti, the genuine Lover who is in Love with you. I am Harshad Surti and don't want to be muscular like the Hulk or Superman or Batman. I am normal man same like your family members and not having any superpower of flying in the sky or lift the big airplanes on my arms.... Is it seems funny words...??? .... ok .... listen more....!!! .... people was coming near me and being more and more stretched while talking with me ... just to show me that ... they are taller than me...!!! ... they had started daily massage in barber's shops.... as they are still neighbor of barbers.... !!! ..... I was watching them doing all this funny acts.....!!! ... Is it hard work to impress you...??? ...... no.... as I know you see something else in people.... You have concerned with quality of people and can see the purpose of redirecting to somebody else rather than me. I know you better than your all friends and parents, because I am living with your all expressive words and images. I can feel you and your feelings in my heart. Do they feel you in their heart...??? answer is ..No....!!! Leave them with their business of make you impress.....!!! .... I am with my reality and want to marry you.....!!! ..... I love you more than myself and want to give you the rid of my Life in your hands.... !!! .... I will write new blog on WP .... in which I will write only short stories....!!! I had started new blog on WP for my photography.... which will be display my photography of tours to different places of the world. I have created another blog of my firm which will display my work online.
My Love... My Empress.... My Madness..... ish...!!! .... during your foreign life..... you have never talked with me on cell phone or by messages.... that pain will be with me till my death....!!! .... Though you will become my wife .... it will annoy me till my death...!!! ..... I have tried so many times to talk with you.... but ... I was always disappointed with neglected by you.... and still facing the same till this moment.... !!! ... what is there in future .... only God knows ..... but from my side ..... I have always given you ... true and pure LOVE .... from my heart and life...!!! ... kissing your forehead .... and telling you ..... I am totally incomplete without you in life ...... and waiting for you to complete me .....I Love you....!!!
(P.S.: ......Darling ...ish...!!! ... Never be inspired from the Ice which had water as past and having future as water ..... But... always be inspired by Water which gives life and flexible by nature..... the water can take any format easily ..... become like water..... which is called River...!!!)
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