......do you ........have Trust in me......???

          Life is being very unromantic as my liabilities are gripping my throats. Day-by-day life is being complex and rude in daily routine. Being serious and silent creates my picture as arrogant and ruthless person. If I start talking with somebody draws my portrait flirty or obsessed person. I want to come out from all that feelings which leads me to unknown and infinite dark zone. It is quite difficult to say "I don't care" or "You can go" because this words are not words which has no relation with heart. For woman it is so easy to erase memories from their mind, but for man it is quite hard. Especially in the situation of his first love. Maybe woman can erase her past so easily by having more than sexual activities and by having kids. But man can't erase his memories by doing all the same. I have never experienced that but I have seen so many examples in which their ladies have erased them from their minds, but men were still saying the stories of their first meetings with smiles and stories of their last meetings with tears on their faces.
       In today's materialistic world, man and woman have lost themselves in competitions of having top positions. The social positions and prestige has made men and women to see at the thing like love as useless or just for flirting. Flirting is not bad, but not with them who loves you by heart seriously. In today's world it is quite hard to find out that hand who can hold your hand life time. It is quite difficult to find out that person who can reward your love by their love. The world is running behind costly fashions and decorations in which it has no time to look at those who are not running in this blind run. We can not think for anybody if the person could get success in attract you to think about him/her. We have lost the words from our dictionary like, intimacy, love, soulmate, spirituality etc. We are liking to see tomorrow rather than today. We want to forget the people who was the part of our life and now they are still there and we have come forward than them. Why do we become so selfish? Why we have no feelings for them who have feelings for us? What is the reason behind the scene in which somebody is guiding us to make distance from the person who loves us by heart? Why our heart can't believe the peroson's sayings who loves us the most and trying so say something? Why we listen the saying of the person who is near our ear and trying to push our head against our beloved one? Why people can't try to create bridge between two loving heart rather than break them in so many pieces forever?
         Sorrie, I have become again philosopher here. Let these questions go with the time and our life experiences. I will write a big book on feelings and intuitions, if I will get my "Madness" back in my life forever otherwise I will leave the writing and poetry forever. I will erase them from my hobbies as I will add new hobbies like paragliding, water rafting, sky diving etc. I have so many questions which can create my portrait as a hanged man. I have the mental relations with my love. I feel very good intimacy with her while watching her smiling face. I can feel her eyes watching me and trying to tell me so many things. I can write so many things here, but she can write only two lines to describe that where is she? and with whom? I can understand her sayings, but sometimes it makes me very complex when one word means a lot. I have ever got frightened when the word means any horrible meaning. Somewhere candles of hopes are still ignited in my heart, which gives me the power to walk on the path of love confidently . I wan to tell her and ask her something.
        Darling........!!!.....I accept that I was very possessive about you and never liked to see you with anybody. Because every man on the earth is possessive for his lady. I am sorrie, if I have told too much. Because you can allow others to guide you to any other way, and not me to guide you on right way. I will not tell you to talk with me, because I have told it more than enough time for that. And you have ever chosen the optional way of FB wall quote and I am writing here the blog post. I don't know why you can't use umbrella in SUN shine which burns your skin and moisture of body. Use goggles in SUN shine which will protect your eyes from UVs of the SUN. Get a nice shelters while high temperature of the SUN. Your color will become dark, so avoid SUN UVs directly on your body. I have never mind about your color, you know that very well. I like you with make up and without make up too. I like to see you fashionable and very simple too. I will never mind if you are having a long talk on phone with anybody. But I would like to make you cautious about your situation of being slave of your friends. Your friends should not become wall between us. Because privacy is necessity for our relationship. Only few days are remaining for new year 2012. It was the most lucky year of my in which I got true love, 2011. I will never forget the March ending, which have given me the most important person of my life. Really I am in heaven of your love. I can feel you in my arms while closing eyes and arms. Your soft voice my ears will never forget. Your deep black big innocent eyes will ever encourage me to walk on the path of the progress.
        Darling......!!!.......I have a good new for both of us. I have got the best idea to use my skills and give the new thing to the world. What is that? you will know it when the curtains will be raised from the confidential thing. It will be the big surprise from me to you. When the work will be done, I assure you that you will kiss my head with glad and love. But for that I have to earn too much money. Maybe I will write here weekly or more than that period. Sorrie......!!!.....if I have hurt you. Eat well and don't drink too much. Be conscious about the motive of staying there. Before taking any step in any direction, ask your self what to do. Don't go alone at any lonely place as the winter has started, and the snowfall can prevent you at any place for hours. Beware from wild animals who can give you big wounds for the life time. Because some wounds can not be healed for the life time. If you would like, remember me while alone. Try to remember those few moments in which we both were together. I have TRUST in my love and God who will protect you from evil eyes.
      My love.......My Darling........My Empress........My "Madness".......it has become too hard to live without you, because your love is not my greed, but it has become my habit. I am addicted of you, I know one day you will be go in anybody's arms forever. But what to do with the my heart which leads me to you. My heart is full of feelings for you. Your appearance in my life is worth like light for eyes for me and my heart. I have still the pain in my heart as it was on first day when you have left all of us and went to foreign country. I can still feel your soft voice and your naughty acts. Pleas never leave me alone in this life. Otherwise I will become disable forever. I need your warmth to live the painful life. I am very lonely and silent now-a-days. There are so many marriage proposals are coming from nice learned ladies. But you know my answer....I have no second heart for any other lady. One life .......one wife.........that's all.
     Darling........!!!.......I have faith in you and in God and in my love..........but .........do you ........have Trust in me......???