I have started chatting with my friend Jyoti as she is in hospital of London. She has remind me so many things and I had really glad to remember it. She was suffering from Anemia. Her HB was came down to 8.2. She is lonely in hospital, nobody was there for taking her care. She is pregnant and no body is taking care of her. She was feeling good while chatting with me. sometims she had made me angry on some points, but I remembered that she was in hospital. I am feeling really guilty, when she had told me that I have ruined her life. I have done nothing. I don't know why she is showing finger to me? I am not so bad that can spoil anybody's life. She had made insult of me and my middle class life.
I remembered the day of 31st, December 2010. It was around 10 p.m. and she was fully drunk. I was taking care of her as she has became one of my best friend. But suddenly she had started misbehaving with me and told so proud words. I was listening her, but suddenly she had told me DOG. I felt a big insult and left her with my other friends. I was so disappointed and could not control my anger. Before I leave, I had told her that line which was became true on my birthday,5th May 2011. The line was"Get Out of My life....Jyoti".
She has again told me dog while chatting today. She called me dog of my love........my "Madness". I am really confused, is she right? or is she wrong? Because "Madness" has closed all the doors for me to watch her. I am really feeling so bad. My heart is coming to my mouth. I am missing her too much. I am crying while writing all here. How will I live without watching her? She is so feelingless about me.
How can I tell her? I love her too much, I miss her too much, I can't control myself. How will I spend my life without watching her. I don't know, what will happened next in my life. My exams are also not going well. There is a big tumble of thoughts in my mind. I am not getting anything from her and I can't accepting my present condition. I am living in a different world. The world of dreams, the world of romance, the world of goodness, the world of my love........my Empress.....my "Madness"......!!!
Whenever I felt bad I have closed my eyes and watched her smiling face. Her smiling face has ever given me motivation to live. I have ever got her as my power, my prod, my force, my stream of life. She is everywhere in my world. I have seen her in my daylight dreams, I have felt her in cool air, I have felt cool in hot burning days of May and June, I have felt her like my shelter in the Rainy Days. She is my festival , she is my celebrations. She is here or not that is not important but she is with me every moment that is important. I have never imagine that the feelings of Love is so different like this. Love is a cool fire in which I am burning but feeling happy while burning. I don't know what is she feeling for me? but I can say if she is feeling something for me, that will be my good luck. Because after meeting her I have seen so many changes in me. She has filtered all my bad habits and thoughts from myself. I have called her my "Goddess" of love. Because I have seen her cuteness, her goodness, her holiness, her intelligence, her beautiful lusts, her love for humanity in her eyes. I don't know what will she and her friends saying for me, but I can say that I have a lot of love for her. They can laugh on me, they can calls me "Mad", they can say I have lost my normality. But I will pray for her and always make fasts for her.
I have never believed in astrology and other future predictions like numerology. I have started believe in all of them after met her and left Jyoti for ever. Actually Jyoti had never taken the place in my life which my "Madness" has taken.
My Love......My Empress.......My Madness.........World will say anything for me, but never make doubt on me and my love, which is ever and ever for you only ........Just remember me ........and my lovely ......feelings for you......!!!
I remembered the day of 31st, December 2010. It was around 10 p.m. and she was fully drunk. I was taking care of her as she has became one of my best friend. But suddenly she had started misbehaving with me and told so proud words. I was listening her, but suddenly she had told me DOG. I felt a big insult and left her with my other friends. I was so disappointed and could not control my anger. Before I leave, I had told her that line which was became true on my birthday,5th May 2011. The line was"Get Out of My life....Jyoti".
She has again told me dog while chatting today. She called me dog of my love........my "Madness". I am really confused, is she right? or is she wrong? Because "Madness" has closed all the doors for me to watch her. I am really feeling so bad. My heart is coming to my mouth. I am missing her too much. I am crying while writing all here. How will I live without watching her? She is so feelingless about me.
How can I tell her? I love her too much, I miss her too much, I can't control myself. How will I spend my life without watching her. I don't know, what will happened next in my life. My exams are also not going well. There is a big tumble of thoughts in my mind. I am not getting anything from her and I can't accepting my present condition. I am living in a different world. The world of dreams, the world of romance, the world of goodness, the world of my love........my Empress.....my "Madness"......!!!
Whenever I felt bad I have closed my eyes and watched her smiling face. Her smiling face has ever given me motivation to live. I have ever got her as my power, my prod, my force, my stream of life. She is everywhere in my world. I have seen her in my daylight dreams, I have felt her in cool air, I have felt cool in hot burning days of May and June, I have felt her like my shelter in the Rainy Days. She is my festival , she is my celebrations. She is here or not that is not important but she is with me every moment that is important. I have never imagine that the feelings of Love is so different like this. Love is a cool fire in which I am burning but feeling happy while burning. I don't know what is she feeling for me? but I can say if she is feeling something for me, that will be my good luck. Because after meeting her I have seen so many changes in me. She has filtered all my bad habits and thoughts from myself. I have called her my "Goddess" of love. Because I have seen her cuteness, her goodness, her holiness, her intelligence, her beautiful lusts, her love for humanity in her eyes. I don't know what will she and her friends saying for me, but I can say that I have a lot of love for her. They can laugh on me, they can calls me "Mad", they can say I have lost my normality. But I will pray for her and always make fasts for her.
I have never believed in astrology and other future predictions like numerology. I have started believe in all of them after met her and left Jyoti for ever. Actually Jyoti had never taken the place in my life which my "Madness" has taken.
My Love......My Empress.......My Madness.........World will say anything for me, but never make doubt on me and my love, which is ever and ever for you only ........Just remember me ........and my lovely ......feelings for you......!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment